A flatter stomach, sleeping half the day on weekends, and spending money frivolously on myself are just some of the things that I miss from before I had kids; I don’t apologize or feel bad for missing these things and neither should you.
With the internet sometimes being people’s point of reference and “be all end all” now, I think a lot of Moms have somehow started feeling like they should feel ashamed or feel “wrong” for missing who they were prior to having children. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. You were a woman/girl before you became a mom or a wife, and that is the core of who you are; not just someone’s provider, nurse, chauffeur, referee, or any other title you feel like you hold the place of. Don’t let your role as a mother or a wife make you forget that.
It’s possible to miss who you were, and still be thankful for your children and spouse. Lack of sleep, leggings and sweatshirts, and sometimes an uninterrupted meal may be your norm now but don’t ever forget those earlier days of who you once were. You may not be able to do, or even have the energy or time to do some of the things that you did before having children, but when you can find that little sliver of time where the kids are napping, or once you put the kids to bed do something nice for yourself. If its nothing more than a bubble bath, burning a favorite candle, having a glass of wine, or reading a book, DO IT; your younger self will appreciate it and you’ll get that moment in time where you’re reminded of who you still are, even after having kids.