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To the Girl Who's in Between Healing and Barely Holding On

Dear in between girl,

Your heart is big, and your compassion and forgiveness know no end and has no limit; it has been crushed into a million pieces time after time and you’ve managed to encourage yourself to put it back together every single time. You convince yourself that you’re “OK” but hide the fact that every single time your heart was crushed, the one who inflicted the pain took a piece with them that you could never get back.

You’re committed to your dreams and goals, but each time you get close, it seems like someone comes and snatches the rug from under you. It’s like you can see it just over the horizon, but once you get right next to it, it disappears like a mirage. It becomes an illusion and your work seems to go in vain.

You’ve become numb to the idea of falling in love, and yet you’re still hopeful at the same time. You help others pull themselves up from dark situations and you still have dark moments of your own. Your persistence and commitment to becoming a “better you” are clear, yet you still have self-doubt and worry.

Society makes us feel that once we start on the path to becoming a better version of ourselves, that we’re aren’t allowed to have bumps, relapses and low points; these are LIES. We’re all human and no road to healing yourself spiritually and emotionally is going to be a smooth ride. This point of being both a masterpiece and a work in progress is what I call the “in between period”; it’s a time when you’re doing great by walking in your purpose, owning your healing and standing in your truth, but yet you’re still fighting the demons of insecurity, lack of self worth, and the possibility of reopening old wounds like depression and anxiety. The “in between girl” is me. I fought with the idea of wanting to be the perfect representation of strength and a healed woman, but I still have a ways to go and I am ok with that. There is no one method of healing and everyone’s process is different, so until then, I own the title of the IN BETWEEN GIRL.