So we’re officially into full holiday mode, and with the beautiful decorations, holiday movies, songs, and the overall Christmas spirit in the air, I am in my element and I’m teaching my kids to enjoy it as well. On the other end of the spectrum you have the hustle and bustle in the retail stores and the pressure to make sure that the kids and all of the important people in my life receive gifts from me that they will love, while staying on a tight budget; and this type of pressure can wreak havoc on a single Mother’s anxiety. Although I had initially planned to do Christmas shopping early and to be nearly done by now, LIFE HAPPENED, and I was unable to do so. I tell myself all of the time that I will always do my best to never show my kids any worry or unhappiness, no matter how hard things get but when you’re trying to do it all by yourself and be everything to everyone it can be stressful. Having to decide between paying a bill or going ahead and knocking one more thing off of the Christmas list is tough. People will say “I understand how you feel” or “I know what you’re going through“ and these are the very people who are clearly not in any situation similar to yours and have no idea how any of it feels. It’s frustrating and it makes me feel like I would have rather them gave no response at all.
I’m teaching my kids the REAL reason for the season and to never take any of the things that we have been blessed with for granted. On the same token, on Christmas morning, I want them to still have nice things to play with and enjoy. Sure I know the true meaning of Christmas, but I will never take the fun of Christmas away from them. From as far back as I can remember, I have always loved giving to people and I love seeing others happy as a result of something that I have done for them, sometimes even if it’s at my own expense (especially when it comes to the people I love). I know that as Moms we tend to give and give until we have nothing left for ourselves, and during this time of the year it is very easy to slip right into a depressed state of mind when you’re unable to. I’m mindful of that and when I feel myself going back to that feeling, I try to shift my focus back on my kids and other positive things. This time of the year can be extremely hard on those who suffer with anxiety and depression, so if you somehow any of this hit home for you, please by all means, don’t get so caught up in the materialistic side of Christmas because at the end of the day, you’re only one person and you can only do what you can do. Make it a MUST that you try to relax and enjoy the special people in your life. I know first hand that depression is not something that you can turn on and off, but shifting the focus to something positive does help tremendously and breathing exercises help with the anxiety. I hope we all enjoy the holidays and enjoy each other, but above all, PLEASE REMEMBER YOU😘✌🏾 **Artwork by @nilsbritwum (IG) **