Being a Mom is a feeling like no other and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It comes with the feeling of joy, pride and overall bliss, just to know that you brought these beautiful, inquisitive little people in this world; but it also means that you are responsible for the rearing, molding and overall raising up of this precious little gift, so that they can grow up and become intelligent, well rounded human beings. For me, that sometimes comes with the anxiety of wondering "Am I doing enough?" I'm a single Mom raising three toddlers, while working full time and still trying to make enough time in the day to make sure that my kids get enough of my time. I've been blessed with an excellent support system consisting of my Mom and my Aunt who make sure that things get done when I'm working and can't, but to kids there's still nothing like *MOM*. I don’t want to be that Mom whose kids only remember her working all the time when they think back to their childhood. Balancing work and home life can sometimes be a rough task. I want to fully devote all of my time and energy into raising my kids and making sure that they're OK but at the same time realistically, I know that we still have to have food on the table and clothes on our backs and if Mommy doesn't work hard to do it then it doesn't get done. I know and understand that fully, but having to feel like I have to over compensate for an absent parent or make up for the fact that it's just me raising three babies on my own is hard. I'm a stubborn, prideful individual who will push myself to the limit just to make sure that my kids have everything that they need. Being able to have the privilege of saying, "I did it on my own" is a great feeling because I know that no one will ever be able to take that accomplishment from me. There are some days that my job has drained me mentally and sometimes emotionally and all I have the energy to do is make sure the kids have dinner, a little play time/learning time, baths and then bed. I sometimes feel guilty for having to make my kids go to bed earlier than most kids because we have to be up at 4 am, but I know that that is a necessary part of our daily routine at least five days a week and it’s just something that we must do. I know that at the end of the day when my kids get older they will know that their Mom tried her very best and that I would go to many lengths just to make sure that they are well taken care of but right now the "Mom guilt" is a major thing for me.
I'm learning daily that "self-care" is OK, although I still wrestle with “Mom guilt” from time to time. Daily, I have to tell myself "IT'S OK!; It's OK if you feel like you need a glass of wine at the end of the day on those rough days. Its OK to journal and blog because maybe that's the only way that you feel like you can get your emotions and stress from the day out. It's fine if there's one day out of the month where you feel like you need to have a girls night and just enjoy yourself and have some adult interaction. It's even OK if there's a moment in the day that you wanted that snack so bad and wanted to enjoy it alone, that you went and sat down to enjoy it quietly by yourself while the kids were playing (lol). I've found comfort and relaxation in meditation and prayer. My writing gives me a peace that I cannot describe and it is my new found passion. As a Mom, the little things are what help me get that time that I need to unwind from the day and unplug from the world. No one has the right nor the privilege to ever tell someone that "You don't get breaks as a Mom". Making sure that I'm OK mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally is my duty and my right. If I don't then who will?? Everyone is going to give advice and tips, they’ll also give their opinion sometimes; I even know that I'm still going to make mistakes as a parent (I'm only human🤷🏾♀️), I'm not perfect but I do know that I AM ENOUGH❤️