Wrestling with the decision of being “too transparent” and “too raw” is a struggle that I, along with some of my fellow bloggers, deal with. Wanting to have that “perfect” content that reaches who it needs to reach, while simultaneously dealing with our own real life situations gets hard to juggle sometimes. We have insecurities, life is tough for us sometimes (just like anyone else) and sometimes we need encouragement and reassurance ourselves.
I’ve been at my most vulnerable and my most self-conscious lately more than I have been in a while. When I say self-conscious, I’m sure some minds automatically go to the physical, but it’s actually more so self-consciousness about my work. I always want it to be true to who I am, and henceforth making my life (in some ways) an open book, just in case there is someone out there dealing with some of the same issues.
I second guess myself on my work a lot and I sometimes question myself on whether my words are even helping anyone.
I took a leap of faith on something about two weeks ago, and told myself “I probably won’t even get noticed, but I’m just going to do it anyway, on the off chance that it actually works”. I gave it 100% and I let it go.
Yesterday I received feedback on the very thing that I had doubt about, but not only did God give me an “aha moment”, He also said “Now I’m going to take it a step further”. I gave it my all, only expecting bare minimum results (if any), but to my surprise, the outcome exceeded the bare minimum.
Sometimes God shows us our true potential and the power in our purpose by producing the extraordinary as a way of reassuring us of our potential.
I needed that push; I needed that strength; and I needed that confirmation from God, knowing just how much He trusts me with my gift. He blesses us even when we feel like we don’t deserve it. He uses us as vessels to carry out His purpose, and there’s not a slammed door, a failed opportunity, or a doubtful spirit that can change that.
That confirmation gave me boost that I needed to keep my chin up and to have more confidence in who I am and exactly what I bring to the table.